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Love Knots for everyone…

Love Knot Ring Meaning

Michael asks…

What do you think of my book?

This is a part of a book I’m working on. This is the first book I’ve written and I’ve written five chapters so far. It’s about a mother who had a still born child and how her and her husband cope with the loss in different ways. Here it is:

I was twenty, just a girl, but thirty two weeks pregnant. Eight weeks and then my beautiful baby girl would appear. I couldn’t wait. We hadn’t planned to have a baby, but there was no question whether we would keep it or not. Neither me or Nick had the heart to destroy a life. I have read about women who have abortions and the regret comes over them afterwards, similar to grief. They regret that they could have a son or daughter now, but chose not too. They feel stupid and worthless. Many of them get depressed and never have another baby because of the guilt. Their new baby must be more worthy to live than the last.
The thought of changing nappies, sleepless nights, caring for a child and being parents before we were married, terrified us when we found out. We knew our parents’ reactions wouldn’t be good and we had no idea what to say, to make the baby inside me sound like a positive step. But we did it. They had to accept it, whatever they thought. My baby wasn’t going away.
My mum was more optimistic than I’d expected.
“Pregnant?” she’d shouted, “how can you two look after a baby? You’re hardly parent material. I mean come on. Surely you didn’t plan this?”
“No, we didn’t,” I said in shame, not making eye contact with her.
“So, you’re keeping it then?”
“Yes.” I replied, not going into detail about not having a heart to kill it and did she not care about a living child?
The conversation ended with mum saying if we needed anything, we knew where she was. I think she was aiming that more at Nick than me. She cared for him like he was her own, not taking my feelings into consideration. She acknowledged him first whenever we went round to hers.
Nick’s parent’s had moved to Paris, so it wasn’t a face to face confrontation with them. Nick said they had took the news fine. I felt a wave of jealousy. Why couldn’t my mum just be happy for us?
By the time twelve weeks had passed, I had fallen in love with my little baby. The scan revealed that she was a girl. Me and Nick were elated. We had just bought a house and moved in together, Nick’s job was going well and now we had a baby girl. At such a young age, we felt like a proper family.
Nick placed his hand on my belly. He had been worried the baby wasn’t moving enough, feeling her every few hours. Baby’s do have breaks from kicking, I’d told him.
“She’s still not moving,” he said.
“She’s fine. Don’t get yourself so worked up. That’s my job.”
“When did you last feel her kick?”
I could hear the desperation in his voice. I had never seen him like this, but I tried not to panic.
“I don’t know. Last week maybe.”
“Something’s not right. I’m calling the hospital.”
He called them. I sat down and breathed. My uterus had been feeling heavy lately, but apart from that there were no other signs that there was anything wrong. I usually knew when something bad had happened. I would feel a knot in my stomach. But today, there was nothing.
“Doctor Sherman wants to see you now. Just to check everything’s alright.” Nick told me, as he hung up the phone.
The words rang in my ear. I didn’t want to move.
“Something is wrong, isn’t it?” I asked Nick.
“No I’m sure she’s fine. Don’t worry.”
“That’s not what you were saying a few minutes ago.”
I remembered what he had said, about the baby not moving. I imagined life without my daughter. It was heartbreaking to even think about it. I couldn’t stand to hear that my baby was dead.
“I’m not going,” I told Nick.
“What do you mean? You have to come.”
“What if she’s..what if..?”
I broke down in his arms, tears pouring from my eyes. He cradled me, just as I imagined him cradling our daughter. In that moment, as he held me and told me everything would be fine, I believed him.
“Okay I’ll come,” I agreed, “everything will be fine.”
“Everything will be fine,” he repeated.
Driving to the hospital, I stared ahead of me like no one else existed. Tears rose in my eyes. Cars blurred out of sight and Nick’s voice seemed in a different world.
“It’s okay,” he told me.
He took my hand. I looked at him and saw the tears in his eyes. He loved this baby as much as me, if not more. He would be devastated if anything happened to her. But I couldn’t be strong for him. I couldn’t agree with him and tell him she would survive because I didn’t know if she would.
“Stop crying,” I told him, “just stop.”
He stopped. He stayed strong for me all the way to the hospital, five miles away. He stayed strong as we parked the car and walked into the maternity ward. He even stayed strong when we entered the waiting room and saw a new mother carrying her baby son out of the
I can’t fit anymore on ):

LoveKnots answers:

You should post more :)
i like it lol

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