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Love Knots for everyone…

Love Knot Meaning

Daniel asks…

In love with a Manic Depressive/alcoholic?

I have a big problem on my hands. Normally I’m great at solving problems, but the problem here is that I’m in love with a manic depressive/alcoholic. We started off as friends and I never knew he had a mental illness until the more I hung out with him. His recklesslessness was somewhat an attraction to me at first, but when I started living with him I saw that he was BEYOND reckless and needed help. He got out of prison 2 years ago after completing a 12-year sentence. About half a year later, he was stabbed in his back 3 times and now cannot walk and is in a wheelchair. He has been through some VERY traumatic experiences since at a young age and that’s not even all of it. I know prison has DEFINITELY changed his mindstate, he’s very confrontational especially with males that could just look at him the wrong way. He’s still in the mindstate of being an inmate sometimes, but he’s in the real world now and I know it’s very hard for him to function and think normally.

That’s a little about him but here is my problem. We are definitely in love, I know he loves me 100 percent. When he is not having a Manic episode he is the PERFECT lover….. I couldn’t ask for anything else. He’s so caring, he cooks for me, washes my clothes, and how I feel when I’m around him is such a beautiful natural high that I’m addicted to. He’s amazing too, 12 years of prison gave him so much wisdom and knowledge, he has helped so many people out with their problems just by talking to them, he’s taught me much about the Lord because he studied the bible for many years in prison too. But when he has an episode, he’s very reckless and out of control. It’s like he’s literally possessed. and when he has an episode and has been DRINKING too, he’s physically abusive on top of that. Right now I have a bloody eye, 2 knots on my head from hitting the concrete, bruises all over my body, and a busted lip and swollen cheek. Yesterday he beat me because we were at a club and his sister’s boyfriend was trying to touch me innappropriately. I ignored it and didn’t tell him trying to not have a big problem arise, but by doing that there was chaos when he found out. He tried to fight the guy but then resented me for not telling him about it earlier and beat the hell out of me at the club parking lot, the ride home, and even AT home when we got there. I was able to run away down the street, I hid in a neighbor’s truck. Then all of the sudden I hear screaming and sirens….. He got hit by a car. The driver made a hit and run….. it was devastating. The hospital he’s at will not give me any information or let me speak to him…. so I’m clueless to what’s going on but I know he’s alive.

Now I am awake this morning panicking trying to type this. This happening has made me realize maybe I need help too, because I am in so much love that I’m putting my life in jeopardy. I can’t control it…. I feel so bad, at first his family made it seem like I was the bad guy because I was nowhere to be found. (I was hiding from him) but they didn’t know that he was on the verge of sending me to the hospital. This is the third time he’s put his hands on me and it only happens when he drinks. I love him DEARLY, I feel like I can’t live without him, but if I don’t think this thoroughly there might be one day he gets drunk and kills me. But I’m stuck on what to do, because I feel like I can help him if he starts taking his meds and attends therapy. (he’s willing to do so but transportation is the issue) I’m no longer going to be in sight when he drinks, thats for sure, but can someone give me any advice what to do….. I am a hopeless lover who cannot get her head straight even when she’s beaten senseless. Maybe I’m the one with the disorder here. But I believe there’s a chance I can fix our lives and get married like we always wanted to. I just need to know how to go about it the right way. This condition is ruining our love and lives, even his families.

Advice please, I don’t want anyone knocking me down for this, please just be constructive.

LoveKnots answers:

I am not going to knock you down…just state some facts. If yo INSIST on this relationship you need PERSONAL counseling and go to some support group and go into couple counseling together. This is the only way this is going to work.

You either don’t realize what you are in for the rest of your lives…but over 90 percent of these relationships do not work. Your whole life is going to be about HIM…not you…not kids….but HIM. Is he taking medicine…is he doing what he needs to do…if he goes off what do I do….dealing with irrational and angry people all your life puts you in the background and you will be NOTHING. You will actually be a hero…but no one will know it.

You need therapy to figure out why you have this need to FIX him and keep him in your life. Don’t tell me about LOVE. Love is not what holds marriages together. Love is tested and it has to be BOTH people working at it. Your lives will be focused on HIM 95 percent of the time. Even with kids….when they should come first…everyone will be taking care of HIM!

It is a MENTAL ILLNESS….MENTAL ILLNESS! Nothing that can be fixed…nor will it go away…and it won’t get better.

Because you will have to put him first…what you like to do…who you like to see…family..kids…everything else will depend on HOW he is doing at that moment.

No future planning….because it can blow up at any second….lost dreams….lost sleep…sometimes violence and abuse.

YOU CANNOT FIX THIS…..and you have to find out why you have this need to FIX something that can’t be fixed.

No matter WHAT you do….it will never be enough…or be right…and things will forever be in chaos. You will get the blame…you will feel guilty..and you will always think you can fix it and could have done something better or different.

YOU CAN NOT! The problem is HIM…..it is MENTAL ILLNESS! Not a behavior problem…not a character flaw…not avoiding something…but a MENTAL ILLNESS!

It takes someone totally committed…someone who is willing to give up his control so someone can control his medicine and his life and do what he is told. MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS! He most likely does not see anything wrong with his behavior. He sees things going wrong but it isn’t his fault.

He is UNPREDICTABLE….meaning violence is in the future!

Honey….do yourself a favor. Find the strength and courage to say goodbye and find a life that is easier to live. Life is hard enough without going into a relationship with all this where you are a fly on the wall with no say…no life…and fear looming in front of your face all the time.

Thomas asks…

Well, I’m quite a mean mother, wouldn’t you say?

I’ve got a rainbow knotted neatly around my neck,
and the river I drank bone-dry is down in my belly.
If you ever see me down Louisiana way,
I’m most likely looking for a witch.
I’ve set my hunting dogs on Satan,
and sent him fleeing in the cornfields.

Well, I’m a mean mother*******, wouldn’t you say? (that’s seven asterisks, not six, hee hee…

Title of song and name of artist? The above is NOT a string of lyrics.

PS: THIS IS A MUSICAL QUESTION. You will not be able to answer it unless you can grasp a song title.
Solo male artist. And there are no swear words in the whole song : )
Clue: This song has a connection to Screaming Jay Hawkins.

LoveKnots answers:

Whistlin’ Past The Graveyard
by Tom Waits

Wheeew, finally, I have been trying to figure this one out for days.
Keep them coming, I love a good challenge

Chris asks…

Love troubled teen needs help…! PLEASE!?

So I’m 15… have had dozen of crushes through my young life… so many times I thought I was in true love… Those feelings all went away eventually… I knew they would, I just knew beforehand they wouldn’t last… So I stopped looking at pictures of models and etc like 6 months ago… stopped my feelings for girls… Told myself to calm down basically…

Anyways, was on the internet two night ago at maybe 11:00 ran across this girl actress… not really famous at all, a few small roles here and there… anyways, I felt like something clicked about her from looking at her photos… I had told myself I wouldn’t do this again… But couldn’t resist. I made a yahoo account, twitter account, spent maybe five hours doing the prefect tweet to her… and after I had the tweet ready… I was nervous like heck… Thirty minutes went by until I finally got the nerve to do it… and I sent it… anyways, she’s 14… That night I was up till 10:00 A.M… I couldn’t get to sleep, my thoughts of her flooding my mind… the next day I was going through everything on the net to do with her and viewing all photos… I had been feeling more depressed than ever lately… but something about her turned me back to joy and happiness… today I woke up, haven’t stopped looking her up and etc. yet today… anyways, part way into the day my stomach felt odd suddenly… And I realized this is what people mean by butterflies in your stomach… with other girls I thought I actually loved, I never got even close to as obsessed…

I was happy to hear things about her happy, mad when I thought one thing was about criticizing her… which it actually wasn’t doing… I think she’s beautiful, looking at her pictures, I don’t get boners or pulsing sensations like with other girls… I just love it the way it is… I don’t know,… my thoughts tell me… “Maybe” unlike all the other times where the brutally truthful part of me said no… I don’t envision us having sexual doings like I would do with other girls… I imagine us hanging out, making her laugh,,, enjoying casual time and such… I don’t look at her as “Hot”… but as beautiful… My stomache has been in a knot all day… I’m so confused… help! Am I in TRUE love! It’s so different from any other “love” I thought I had!!!!!! I don’t know what it is about her!!!

LoveKnots answers:

This isn’t a question that should be asked on yahoo because nobody that answers this can give you that answer. The answer is inside of you and only you can answer if you truly love her. In my opinion I don’t think your in love because you have never actually met her. Looking at her pic and thinking she’s beautiful is one thing but then going out and connecting is a whole different ball field anyway it’s like I said no one on here can give you that answer.

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